Tuesday, July 05, 2011

The Professor's Pernicious Plan

Oh, yes, children, it is time for the truth. Gay professors have an agenda. The students can tell, no matter what the syllabi say--see the latest from the Journal of Applied Social Psychology.

As a lesbian professor, I have long had to address this issue with students. If I EVER mention LGBT issues once in a non-LGBT class, there are always one or two students who feel irritated by this mention. It it upsetting to their delicate sensibilities, I guess, to hear an LGBT example amongst the many heterosexual examples I use in class.

And all my students (and I) will tell you: I have an agenda for every class and for my overall academic work. Of course, the question is: What is this agenda?

Is it the infamous homosexual agenda of yore? As Betty Bowers explains, at 3:33 we plan to:
 Assume complete control of the U.S., state, and local governments (in addition to other nations' governments); destroy all healthy Christian marriages; recruit all children grades Kindergarten through 12 into your amoral, filthy lifestyle; secure complete control of the media, starting with sitcoms; molest innocent children; give AIDS to as many people as you can; host a pornographic "art" exhibit at your local art museum; and turn people away from Jesus, causing them to burn forever in Hell.
Talk about time-consuming! No wonder it is difficult for LGBT folks to get tenure. Who has the time, when trying to take over governments and effect wholesale cultural change!

Nah, I have been too focused on securing tenure and promotion, supporting first generation college students, running an academic program, and improving my students' thinking and writing. Oh, and occasionally reminding students that LGBT people exist in the world and deserve rights like everyone else.


LouMac said...

Thanks for this post! I'm a gay female prof at a large state university, and find myself self-censoring (the pronoun dance etc.) more than I'd like for this very reason. I've been more wary since the Tea Party made state employees into the public enemy - some of our students are just looking for proof that faculty are evil promoters of The Homo/pinko/commie/child-sacrificing Agenda.

Since you mention the wonderful Betty Bowers - do you know her hilarious sketch on Biblical Marriage?

Anonymous said...

ohhhh I loved this post. It made me want to smack my dykishly academic self upside the head a few times, then write "the gay agenda" on my chalkboard...

can't wait for tenure lol