Thursday, April 09, 2009

Trying something new on

Okay, I am doing something I never do. I am making a decision that pleases no one but myself. I am ignoring a personal obligation (which involved 2 days of travel and no time or room to work) to do something that is good for me (staying home alone to write on 2 major projects with impending deadlines).

I normally try to juggle everything and make myself a little crazy. I hate to disappoint anyone.

The gf is being so supportive, I am moved by her generosity of spirit and once again pleased that she is my partner.

Contrary to how you might imagine I feel--strong, independent, feminist lesbian that I am--I am actually feeling embarrassed and a little like a bad person. I know that is crazy, so I am both feeling these emotions and telling myself that it is okay.

Who knows? If it goes okay, perhaps I will actually make decisions that are good for me more often.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hooray for you! I think that too often women, especially lesbo academics tend to overachieve by juggling plates of obligations, praying that one doesn't hit the fall and crash. Inevitably, we are the ones who crash.

I, too, am trying to make more conscious decisions about being good to myself, so I really appreciate your public acknowledgement of this. Keep it up!